Donation MO-tovation

A little over two weeks into Movember and I am happy to say that my mustache is, as expected, coming along disgustingly. This thing is BAD. It's as if my nose hairs are taking over my face. Last Monday I woke up, looked in the mirror and said to myself, "You can not go into public like this." I almost took the life of my week old stache then and there. Thankfully for your enjoyment (or disgust) I let it live.

Why would I put myself and more importantly others around me through this you ask? Hairity charity. For those unfamiliar with Movember it is a month long mustache growing celebration to raise money and awareness for men's health issues. In Canada funds raised go to the prostate cancer research foundation.

Being a first time participant in Movember I am keeping my donation expectation reasonable. Next year I will single handily abolish prostate cancer. This year I will aim a littler lower, say $250.

Now I know what you're saying, "Hey douche bag, what's in it for me?" Well I'm glad you asked friend. To help achieve that $250 goal I have come up with the following Donation Mo-tovation list:

$10 or less - My stache will personally email you and thank you for your weak, low donation.

$10 - $20 - You will receive a retro picture of my retro stache.

$30 - $40 - a video clip of my stache enjoying a banana.

$40 - $50 - Video clip of my stache bathing in milk. For those of you who are vegan I will use almond milk. For those allergic to nuts I will use homo milk.

Note: My stache does not tolerate homophobes.

High Rollers

Now, I'm not gonna do anything weird (cause filming myself eating a banana is TOTALLY normal) So nothing like, I don't know, Umm $60 you can watch me touch it or $100 your friend can touch it...nothing weird like that...unless you bring cash. I will however consider the following:

$60+ - Video clip of 1 hair being plucked from the stache

$80+ - My mustache will serenade you

$100 - You will receive a decorative tile so you can remember the legend of the stache. Also it would make a horrible Christmas re-gift.

Highest bidder can shave it off December 1st (and keep the whiskers as a commemorative keep sake...no? Or not.)

Also, as this is beyond odd for some people, you can donate and pay me NOT to send you a clip of myself looking creepy and doing things that you flat out don't find funny. Your loss.

So there it is. Click the link below to donate. THANKS!

CLICK HERE TO DONATE